What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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