Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
