OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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