Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
