Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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