I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
