I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize