You're completely useless in the revolution.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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