I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
birth control should be required to get into college
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
