Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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