Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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