The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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