This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
