using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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