hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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