And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
