they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
