There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize