Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We need a shit load of segways right now
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize