Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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