Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
