Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
