I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
