If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
