She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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