No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
