remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
