Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
