So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
