whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
