that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
