is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
