thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize