check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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