I'm gonna have a badass scar
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
