OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
