if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
