honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize