chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
