I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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