I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
