man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
