maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dick very happy bro
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
