im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
