I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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