you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
