Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
