I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
