I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize