First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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