If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
