no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
