drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
