Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
