I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize