That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize