I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
