If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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