We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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