No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
