ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
