How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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