OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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